Garden Girl by Don Mathis

Here’s a fantastic story about relationships… and plants. Don has another great constraint story, with some of the same themes, interestingly, published in the Current. Excellent work.

Lyle Rosdahl

Garden Girl by Don Mathis

I met Lily at the Botanical Garden for a Date. She was not like my last girlfriend, Rose. I’ll never forget those Rose Hips and her Cypress Knees. I was a Fungi but I hated it when she put herMother-in-Law Tongue on my Goose Neck or in my Elephant EarRose was no good in a Bedbut fine up against a Wall. Would Rosemary anyone else? She said there was not a Snowflakechance in Hell. I’ll never forget her Sage words – even if she was a Wallflower.

But I was Plum crazy about Lily and she was Nuts about me. We were a great Pear! I Wood Pinefor her so hard, my Purple Heart would turn my Blood Orange. I rode my bicycle to the Garden andTurnip the speed as fast as I could Petal.  I loved it when she looked at me with those Sweet Potato Eyes and kissed me with those Tulips. They were Succulent. She was my Passion Flower and I felt like a Dandelion. She was the Apple of my eye and I loved her Berry Mulch.

Wood caress her Tomato Skin with my Palm and she Wood reach for my Trunk with her Limbsand Clove me tight. Every time I Seed her, I’d blow Baby’s Breath into her Lambs Ear. Then herArtichoke Heart would Beet a little faster. I’d Paw Paw her Grapefruit under her Queen Ann’s Lace and Angel Trumpets would sound and Bells Wood Ring. “Lettuce Head for the Flower Bed,” I said, and I’d squeeze her Peaches again. I was aching to put my Cucumber into her Venus Fly Trap and I turned down the lamp by the Nightshade. I put a Bonnet on my Old Man Cactus and was ready for some Pussy Willow but my Buttercup stopped me right at the Crotch of her Tree. I felt like I was going to fall off Jacobs Ladder.

“Before you Poppy my Cherry,” she said, “You must give me a ring – 24 Carrots.” Oh, Shoot. I let go of her Melon as my Love Lies Bleeding. I didn’t Fig her on this. I thought she might be screaming ‘Grape’ so I moved my Root away from her Bush. I was no Sap and I Wood Knot be herPansy. I told her we Cantaloupe – it would Squash her parents’ dream of a big Weeding.  They wouldn’t want any Jack in the Pulpit to tie our nuptials – even if it cost just a few Peonies.

She said she knew a traveling Rabbi – a Wandering Jew – who could perform a simple ceremony. “But wouldn’t that mean he would have to Peel my Banana?” I asked. There was no way anyoneWood be cutting on my Tuber. It’s very Tendril down there!  Lily said she knew a Kernel in the Air Force (he worked at an Airplane Plant) that could marry us but I wasn’t so Corny anymore. I’ve been in Violet situations and I felt like I had a Pistil to my head.  What a Yucca feeling!

Olive you baby,” I said, “but let’s Stalk about this another Daisy.” That was a Root awakening for her and she started to cause a Row. No Style at all. “Are you going to Leaf me like this,” she cried, little bits of Salvia dripping from her mouth.  “It’s not like I gave you a Black-Eye Susan,” I said. She must have Bean hanging with MaryJane. How Daffodil could she be? I thought I was going to have to draw a Picture with Indian Paint Brushes for her.

“Well, Ivy not going to be your Pumpkin anymore,” she said, looking straight into my Iris. “Vine with me,” I said. I knew I could still call on Rose. She had Mushroom at her Pad and had no Stigmaabout taking me back. I was certain our love could Blossom again. I knew a Dogwood but thisSweat Pea would Forget-Me-Not. My Bird of Paradise was going to sing tonight!

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