Here’s a fantastic story about relationships… and plants. Don has another great constraint story, with some of the same themes, interestingly, published in the Current. Excellent work.
Garden Girl by Don Mathis
I met Lily at the Botanical Garden for a Date. She was not like my last girlfriend, Rose. I’ll never forget those Rose Hips and her Cypress Knees. I was a Fungi but I hated it when she put herMother-in-Law Tongue on my Goose Neck or in my Elephant Ear. Rose was no good in a Bedbut fine up against a Wall. Would Rosemary anyone else? She said there was not a Snowflakechance in Hell. I’ll never forget her Sage words – even if she was a Wallflower.
But I was Plum crazy about Lily and she was Nuts about me. We were a great Pear! I Wood Pinefor her so hard, my Purple Heart would turn my Blood Orange. I rode my bicycle to the Garden andTurnip the speed as fast as I could Petal. I loved it when she looked at me with those Sweet Potato Eyes and kissed me with those Tulips. They were Succulent. She was my Passion Flower and I felt like a Dandelion. She was the Apple of my eye and I loved her Berry Mulch.
I Wood caress her Tomato Skin with my Palm and she Wood reach for my Trunk with her Limbsand Clove me tight. Every time I Seed her, I’d blow Baby’s Breath into her Lambs Ear. Then herArtichoke Heart would Beet a little faster. I’d Paw Paw her Grapefruit under her Queen Ann’s Lace and Angel Trumpets would sound and Bells Wood Ring. “Lettuce Head for the Flower Bed,” I said, and I’d squeeze her Peaches again. I was aching to put my Cucumber into her Venus Fly Trap and I turned down the lamp by the Nightshade. I put a Bonnet on my Old Man Cactus and was ready for some Pussy Willow but my Buttercup stopped me right at the Crotch of her Tree. I felt like I was going to fall off Jacobs Ladder.
“Before you Poppy my Cherry,” she said, “You must give me a ring – 24 Carrots.” Oh, Shoot. I let go of her Melon as my Love Lies Bleeding. I didn’t Fig her on this. I thought she might be screaming ‘Grape’ so I moved my Root away from her Bush. I was no Sap and I Wood Knot be herPansy. I told her we Cantaloupe – it would Squash her parents’ dream of a big Weeding. They wouldn’t want any Jack in the Pulpit to tie our nuptials – even if it cost just a few Peonies.
She said she knew a traveling Rabbi – a Wandering Jew – who could perform a simple ceremony. “But wouldn’t that mean he would have to Peel my Banana?” I asked. There was no way anyoneWood be cutting on my Tuber. It’s very Tendril down there! Lily said she knew a Kernel in the Air Force (he worked at an Airplane Plant) that could marry us but I wasn’t so Corny anymore. I’ve been in Violet situations and I felt like I had a Pistil to my head. What a Yucca feeling!
“Olive you baby,” I said, “but let’s Stalk about this another Daisy.” That was a Root awakening for her and she started to cause a Row. No Style at all. “Are you going to Leaf me like this,” she cried, little bits of Salvia dripping from her mouth. “It’s not like I gave you a Black-Eye Susan,” I said. She must have Bean hanging with MaryJane. How Daffodil could she be? I thought I was going to have to draw a Picture with Indian Paint Brushes for her.
“Well, Ivy not going to be your Pumpkin anymore,” she said, looking straight into my Iris. “Vine with me,” I said. I knew I could still call on Rose. She had Mushroom at her Pad and had no Stigmaabout taking me back. I was certain our love could Blossom again. I knew a Dogwood but thisSweat Pea would Forget-Me-Not. My Bird of Paradise was going to sing tonight!